I've always been grateful for parents who have stayed together. Most of my friends have divorced parents. In fact I can only think of 3 mates who live with their original parents. As much as I love them, it's not been a happy home all the time. I've never told anyone this but today has been so bad. They are both very strong willed people who can be very stubborn. My mum comes from two parents who were very controlling. She rebelled in her own way and as a result does not like to open up to people. My dad comes from similar controlling parents, who put him down and eventually separated when he was 17. He failed his A-Levels and never went to uni. It's affected both of them and as a result they have had to be strong willed people.
They've never touched each other but they can be very verbally abusive. They'll scream, shout, slam doors, break things and just generally argue. My mum believes we take her for granted. As I wrote this she came in my room to tell me "she's had it". That she does everything. That we do nothing. I just listened and then she left.
My dad is a control freak sometimes. He can talk down to my mum and she'll just fight back. They bounce off each other and it's crazy. I hate that they argue, it's something I've learnt to live with from such a young age but I deep down I know they still love each other. I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't think there is an answer. Whether a gap year or uni, I want to get out. At the moment I don't get on with my dad. He tries so hard but we always fight. I can't really talk to him. He wants me to go to uni so desperately that he pushes it all the time. I know it comes from his short comings but I will go. I've always wanted to go. I shouldn't really post this. If anyone recognised who I really was then it could cause so much trouble. But there is something therapeutic about writing this down. Something where I can just talk. I don't need anyone to listen. I don't have to have a response. Just put it out there for my own benefit. Have it somewhere I can look at and know that none of my family will see this.
Hey hope everything is going ok at home now. Its never easy when your parents fight but you need to always remind yourself its not your fault, no one gets on with their parents 100% of the time we wouldn’t be human if we did.
ReplyDeleteMake sure your going to uni because you want to not because your dad is making you my parents were so disappointed that I didn’t make the grade for medicine 1st time round and to this day my mam still thinks I flunked my alevels (I got AAABa bloody chemistry requirements). When will parents learn to be supportive ey.
Good luck with your up coming exams if you want to talk PM me on TSR im brokenangel on there.
well, u r not alone in tis world as i went thru the same things.watever happened got its own good behind.
ReplyDeleteyou know once you go to uni or just leave your parents house they will suddenly get along much better. and it will be easier for you to get along with them from a phone call.. anyway marriage is a bit like getting into medicine. you think you want it so much, but when you fail the first time most people just give up. i've met a lot of people who failed and those that kept trying always got in. the people who give up don't regret though. and once you're actually in uni (got married) many decide it was wrong after all, but they stick with it. i have no respect for anyone who gets divorced. you can live separately if you want, but marriage is forever, just like a medical career.
ReplyDeleteSorry things are not going well with the 'rents at the moment. Parental issues really stink, but know that you WILL be able to get out of the situation, and things WILL be okay.
ReplyDeletecheers. i just keep thinking about gap year/uni. keeps me going
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